LOVE EXPLAINED: He did not break my walls — I lowered them for him

When you go through heartbreak after heartbreak, you learn to build walls around your heart. Strong, unyielding walls meant to protect you from ever feeling that pain again. I thought I had perfected those walls — until I met him. 

College felt like a fresh start, a time to focus on my academics and my passion for media and development communication. After multiple heartbreaks and emotional wounds, I made a silent promise to myself that I would not fall in love again. My energy would be dedicated to my work, advocacies, family, friends, and myself. But as fate would have it, love has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. 

It all began during a media coverage for Explained PH at Isko't Iska 2023. Among the bustling crowd and the excitement of the event, I met him as one of our organization’s photojournalists. I was surprised by the spelling and proper pronunciation of his name. His name is Zean.  

 

“Zean? As in Zee-yan?” 

“Hindi, parang Sean lang pero Z?” 

“Weird.” 

There was no grand moment, no love at first sight. But something about him intrigued me. That night, after the event, I found myself adding him on Facebook and sending a message to check if their team had arrived safely back in Manila. It was a small gesture, but it was the beginning of something I never anticipated. 

At first, our conversations were casual. I initiated most of them, and he responded as a friend. Still, our talks grew longer, deeper, and more meaningful. We discovered our shared passions — a love for games, media, and journalism. 

While I practiced development communication, he captured stories through his lens as a photojournalist. Our values aligned, and it felt natural to talk to him. I found myself lowering my walls, brick by brick, without even realizing it. 

A few weeks later, I decided to take a leap of faith. I confessed my feelings to him. But life is not always like the movies. He turned me down. His heart was still healing from someone else, and I understood. It would have been easy to walk away, to rebuild my walls and never look back. But something in my heart told me he was worth the wait. So, I stayed. 

Two months later, I asked again. My heart hoped for a different answer, but my mind knew better. Once again, he rejected me. This time, I told myself it was time to move on. I began rebuilding my walls, stronger than before. But destiny had other plans. 

We crossed paths again during an in-person partnership event of Explained PH. To my surprise, he sat beside me and handed me his beep card — a promise he had made during one of our past conversations. It was a simple gesture, but it meant everything. I had prepared a bracelet and a ring as a confession gift, but after his two rejections, they became a farewell gift instead. Yet, that day did not end in goodbyes. After the event, he invited me to eat mami on the streets of Quezon City. We shared a meal, had deep conversations about life and our ambitions, and he even made sure I got home safely to Laguna. That night, I felt a spark of hope I thought had faded away. 

Our connection continued to grow, and so did my feelings. Days before the Chinese New Year of 2024, I invited him to celebrate in Binondo with me. To my surprise, he said yes. We spent the day exploring, tasting different cuisines, and making new memories. It felt effortless, comfortable, and right. 

I invited him again — this time to be my date for the UPLB February Fair 2024. Once more, he said yes. We spent the entire night together and ended up staying at my closest friend's apartment. We slept next to each other, and for the first time in a long while, I felt completely safe. The next morning, he kissed me, and that was a moment that changed everything. Unbeknownst to me, he had started to fall in love with me too. 

On February 17, 2024, after attending a Rappler event to support our Editor-in-Chief, we found ourselves at the Shaw train station. It was there that we officially became a couple. 

If you have made it this far, you have probably realized that this love story happened a year ago. Today, we have been together for a year. Our bond has only grown stronger. We have traveled to new places, created countless memories, and even taken on the role of fur parents to a two-month-old kitten. And through it all, I learned the most valuable lesson about love: 

The right person will never force you to break your walls. Instead, they will make you feel safe enough to lower them yourself. 

Love is not about grand gestures or fairy-tale endings. Sometimes, it’s about the quiet moments, a shared meal on a busy street, a simple promise fulfilled, and a feeling of safety in someone’s presence. 

I learned that it is okay to be vulnerable, to take risks, and to trust in love again. Because when you find someone who is patient, kind, and worth the wait, love becomes less about falling and more about choosing each other every single day.