One woman, many roles: The power of a solo parenting

In a world where strength is often measured by noise and visibility, there exists a quieter, fiercer kind — embodied by single mothers. They rise each day not just to survive but to shape futures, armed with nothing but resilience, sacrifice, and unconditional love.

This Mother’s Day, we enter the lives of women like Mercedes Menor and Conie Pascua — mothers who face life's storms alone, yet stand unwavering. Their stories, rarely seen in spotlight, offers a powerful insight into a form of heroism that demands recognition and respect.

For Mercedes, 50, the path of single motherhood began twelve years ago, a turning point that demanded a recalibration of her entire existence. 

"At [age] 38, single mother na ako [at] 50 na ako ngayon. Ilang taon na rin mula nang mag-isa akong nagsasakripisyo para sa mga anak ko. Sobrang hirap kasi kailangan kong magdoble-kayod para sa kanila," she recounted, her voice carrying the quiet strength forged in years of independent struggle.

While Mercedes’ journey into single motherhood began years earlier, Conie’s path was shaped by more recent — and turbulent — times. Her entry into solo parenting came just as the world was grappling with a global crisis, compounding the emotional and financial challenges she already faced.

"Maraming pagsubok na pinagdaanan ko bilang isang single mother ngunit lumaban ako dahil sa mga anak ko, dahil sila ang lakas ko," she affirmed, her voice steady with the quiet force of a mother’s unwavering resolve.

These initial steps into single parenthood, whether carved by personal circumstance or the sudden upheaval of global events, mark the beginning of extraordinary journeys, each woman becoming the sole architect of her family's destiny.

In a nation where economic disparities can be stark,  single mothers often walk a precarious tightrope. 

"Kailangan kong maghanap ng pera araw-araw, walang pahinga kung tutuusin, lalo pa't nasa kolehiyo na ang dalawang anak ko. Sobrang hirap kumita," Mercedes shared her daily reality as relentless pursuit of financial stability.

Meanwhile for Conie, the economic shockwaves of the pandemic amplified her existing vulnerabilities. 

"Financial stability dahil naghiwalay kami ng asawa ko three months before pandemic at marami kaming loan na mag-asawa. Dumating ang pandemiya kaya mas nahirapan ako sa mga expenses sa bahay habang ako ay nagbabayad ng utang."

Yet, amidst these formidable pressures, their spirit remains unbroken. Mercedes finds an inner wellspring of determination. "Kung kaya ng iba, bakit hindi ko kakayanin. Palagi ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili kong kakayanin ko kasi ilang taon na lang ay makakapagtapos na rin sila sa pag-aaral." Small acts of kindness, like her siblings' support and her children's scholarships, provide crucial anchors. 

Conie's resilience is rooted in faith and pragmatism. "Humingi ako ng lakas sa Diyos at dumiskarte sa buhay dahil nag- iisa nalang ako na bumubuhay sa mga anak ko."

The depth of a mother's love is often measured in the sacrifices she makes,   for Mercedes and Conie, this language is spoken fluently. 

"Parang iniaalay ko na yung buhay ko para sa kanila para mapagtapos ko sila sa pag-aaral nila dahil ‘yon lang ang maibibigay ko sa kanila," Mercedes reveals, her selflessness a quiet testament to her priorities.

Conie vividly recalls the challenges of solo parenting her three children. 

"Tatlo ang anak ko. Mahirap man alagaan, ngunit nagsasakripisiyo ako para lumaki silang madisiplina. Naranasan ko na ring magmakaawa sa kapitbahay dahil sa hirap ng hinaharap namin ngunit lahat ng sakripisiyo ko noon nagbunga ng maganda ngayon at sila na ngayon ay malalaki."

These often unseen acts of devotion lay the groundwork for their children's futures, as each sacrifice is placed as a brick in the foundation of hope they are building — often at their own personal cost.

Yet, who are these women when they momentarily step away from the all-consuming role of motherhood?

"Isang indibidwal na patuloy na lumalaban, hindi lamang para sa aking mga anak kundi para din sa pangarap namin. Sa gitna ng sakripisyo at responsibilidad kumakapit ako sa mga pangarap namin at patuloy na bumabangon," Mercedes articulates, revealing an inner life that extends beyond her maternal duties.

On the other hand, Conie offers a simple yet profound self-definition: "Ako ay isang kaibigan." Behind those few words lies a deep truth — beneath the weight of motherhood and daily responsibilities, she remains a person with her own identity, warmth, and capacity to connect. In calling herself a friend, she reminds us that single mothers are not just providers or caretakers; they are individuals with emotional lives, capable of giving and in need of companionship, too.

Having a glimpse into their individual identities remind us that beneath the title of "mother" lies a woman with her own aspirations, connections, and inner strength that fuels her remarkable journey.

Conie voiced a clear and urgent need for greater societal support for single mothers like them.

She advocates for a tangible aid: "Ito ay ang financial assistance dahil hindi natin maikakaila na hindi lahat ng single mother ay financially stable kaya dapat mas i-priority ang financial stability nila kahit kaunti para mas maalagaan nila ang kanilang mental, physical at emotional aspects."

Her shared plea underscores the systemic challenges that often compound the difficulties of single motherhood, highlighting the critical role of community and government in providing a much-needed safety net.

As Mother's Day approaches, Mercedes extends a hand of solidarity and encouragement: "Laban lang. Patuloy lang sa pagmamahal at pagsasakripisyo sa ating mga anak dahil sila lang din ang makatutulong sa atin pagdating ng araw. Marami mang pagsubok pero kakayanin natin."

Conie's message resonates with hard-earned wisdom and unwavering hope: "Maging matatag sa buhay bilang isang ina dahil hindi madali ang buhay ng isang single mother. Kaya kayong kapwa ko single mom, tayo ay maging strong sa buhay dahil kailangan pa tayo ng ating mga anak, sana masubaybayan natin ang kanilang tagumpay sa buhay upang makita natin ang hirap at pagod na dinanas natin para sa kanila. Patuloy tayong lalaban sa hamon ng buhay para sa ating mga anak."

Mercedes and Conie offer a powerful lens through which to view the often unseen heroism of single mothers. Their resilience, born from necessity and fueled by love, deserves not only celebration but also global recognition and support. 

This Mother's Day, let us acknowledge their unseen superpowers and advocate for a world that better understands and uplifts these formidable women.