Cheesy Tteokbokki  

Back in my youthful years, I came out to my friends and family as a queer person, but somehow, most of them have sidelined this fact, only remembering it whenever they ask about my partner or seek updates on my relationships.  


Initially, it didn't bother me as much as it does now, but over the years, it became a problem, as my sexual orientation and me coming out to the people I knew and loved didn't really matter at all. It was as if my truth was just a fleeting conversation that slipped out of everyone's minds.  

It felt like my coming out was merely a moment to forget, and my vulnerable experiences of doubt, confusion, self-hatred, and self-acceptance were something they collectively chose to overlook. This dismissal has left me questioning the significance of my identity in their eyes.  

Adding more fuel to the fire, many strangers and acquaintances from the community assume I'm straight. Honestly? It kills me a little inside. Am I not queer enough? Do I simply look too ordinary?  How queer-presenting do I need to be to stand out from the crowd and be recognized for who I truly am? These questions linger in my mind, amplifying my feelings of invisibility and longing for acceptance.  

When others outside of the community ask about my identity and receive their answer, I can feel their gaze shift, often filled with confusion or judgment. It leaves me wondering: where do I go when even my own community, which proudly champions authenticity and acceptance, makes me feel shame for who I am? How do I navigate a space that is supposed to be inclusive yet sometimes feels exclusive based on appearances?  

Where do I place myself when I love differently but do not necessarily conform to the stereotypes of how those in the community are expected to dress or present themselves? These questions and self-doubt find me caught in a paradox, trying to grasp connection and acceptance while grappling with the fear that my expression of identity may not be valid enough. This struggle leaves me feeling isolated, as if I am searching for a place where I truly belong — a space that embraces the full spectrum of queer experiences without judgment or limitation.  

Now, as I reflect on the past, I have decided to take action regarding this issue. I refuse to let it define who I was, who I love, and who I continue to be. Instead, I am choosing to embrace my identity with pride and authenticity.  

I dress the way I want, I love who I love, and I refuse to apologize for either. My lifestyle and choice to be myself is an expression of my individuality, a reflection of my journey, and a celebration of my identity.  

And so, I stand tall, presenting myself just as I did years ago, but this time I am much bolder, wiser, and braver in embracing who I am meant to be. No one can take this away from me as I continue to celebrate the freedom to pursue anything and everything that resonates with my spirit, regardless of societal expectations, norms, or stereotypes.  

To be who I truly am is a powerful act of defiance against a world that often seeks to confine people like me. As I continue to live authentically — embracing my pride and vibrant colors and unapologetically expressing my identity in loving anyone, regardless of gender or orientation — I will choose to love, just as much as I have learned to love myself and all my imperfections.