By Jed Nykolle Harme

The heavy part about letting go is that we don’t let go of everything in just one time. 

The Juans just dropped off the official music video of their new song, Pangalawang Bitaw. The title is enough to break you already. This is for those who finally chose to let go of everything and had endured so much pain and toxicity in a certain relationship.

PHOTO: The Juans - Pangalawang Bitaw (Official Music Video)

Japs Mendoza, vocalist and lead guitarist of the band, composed the song. He shares the story behind this in their latest vlog. 

“Nasulat ko yung Pangalawang Bitaw based sa experience ng ka-blockmate ko,” he said. “Nag-break sila ng jowa niya tapos ina-ask niya kami kung okay lang ba na balikan niya ‘yon dahil mahal niya pa talaga.”

As Japs got the inspiration of the song from their story, he then revealed that the song isn’t just about his blockmate, but because of his personal experience too. 

As he walks through the lyrics, Japs unveils that the song talks about letting go of someone. But it seemed a thousand times harder than what was anticipated. 

“Kadalasan, akala natin isang beses lang tayo kailangang bumitaw. Pero lately, narealize ko na mayroon palang pangalawang pagbitaw,” Japs said as he mentioned that it isn’t about the person anymore, it’s about letting go of the memories and the pain it caused us. 

“Ito yung bibitaw ka na rin sa lahat ng pangako at pangarap na binuo niyong dalawa,” he said. 

Letting go is a process and has pre-preparations. We can’t just drop everything, there comes the day where it doesn’t go slightly even if we want to. 

“Oras na para iwanan mga alaala ng nakaraan, oras na para iwasan ang mga nakasanayan.”

We have to let go of the person first until we can let go of the memories, down to its details. All those lived happiness down to the cruel fights and sleepless nights. 

“Nahihirapan nang makagalaw, oras na para bumitaw, pangalawang bitaw.”

We have to let go because we have no options left. We’ve already endured every heartache that is served on the table. 

“Sinubukan kong lumaban kahit magulo ang aking isipan.”

We have to let go because we’ve tried and bleed enough to do everything just to save the relationship. We fight for the people we love just for things to stay the same, but they don’t always fight as hard to hold on to us. 

“Gulung-gulo aking mundo, utak ay litong-lito. Pikit-mata nang lalayo, nahihirapan na ako.”

We have to let go and say goodbye to someone to give respect and save ourselves from drowning too. We let go even if we don’t want to, because we know in ourselves that holding on is way more painful than letting go and we hurt ourselves enough just to save another one’s heart from tearing apart. 

Letting go makes us resist as well as makes us surrender, too. 

Japs also shared his favorite lines in the song. He last wrote the bridge part because he experienced Pangalawang Pagbitaw in real-life. “Habang sinusulat ko yung song, bawat words talagang galing sa puso ko. Every word na ‘yon, may kasamang luha ‘yon.”

He also advised that when time comes, when you are ready to let go of everything, it’s time to choose yourself. Because how can we give love to the other person when we don’t know how to love ourselves first?

“Sa lahat ng nagsa-suffer na ‘yong mental health dahil sa toxic relationship, take a break and have some space for yourself,” Japs said. 

Letting go is a survival emotional process. Sometimes, we can’t move forward because we’re stuck with the job of hanging on. And that’s totally fine.

Letting go is a choice. 

Letting go is turning back. 

Letting go is recalibrating yourself. 

Letting go is definitely one of the hardest, but the bravest act to do. 

When time comes, when you’re done enduring every pain and ready enough to lose the grip of failed love, may you be ready to let go of everything — the second time around.