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Kinky Stories Behind the Mountain Peaks in Maragondon

By Jed Nykolle Harme

For hikers, the mountain peaks of Maragondon in Cavite offer both adventure and a touch of history. The iconic monolith of Mt. Pico de Loro and the fortress-like summit of Mt. Marami are the favourite destinations among novice and veteran hikers alike. However, many don't know what the kinky stories of the Maragondon mountains’ have to offer. 

Mt. Pico de Loro in Maragondon, Cavite (Photo courtesy by Cavite.gov.ph and Mordantravels)

“May kuwento ito. At lahat ng babanggitin ko, pangalan siya ng mga bundok,” said Ronnie Unas, the town’s tour coordinator.

“Nagsimula ito sa Mt. Bahay na Bato (stone house). Sa Bahay na Bato, may Mt. Hagdan (staircase). Pagkatapos umakyat ng hagdan, makikita ang Mt. Silyang Bato (stone chair),” he said.

As he continued, this is where the “story” of mountains started getting kinky. 



“Sa Silyang Bato, may Mt. Nagkandong. Pagkatapos magkandong, may Mt. Nagpatong. Pagkatapos magpatong, siyempre may Mt. Nagputok,” which in Filipino, these are suggested sexual encounters.

“Pagkatapos pumutok, syempre makakakita ka ng mga tala. Kaya ang sumunod diyan ay ang Mt. Tala,” he said as we laughed. 
He continued telling stories. “Pagkatapos pumutok, syempre Mt. Buntis (pregnant). Pagkatapos magbuntis, nag Mt. Bunga (fruit) nang Mt. Marami (plenty), kasi maraming naging bunga.” he told stories. 

For years, as he told this story to the town’s guests, they didn’t believe this. “Akala nila nagbibiro lang. Matanda na ako, at bago pa ipanganak ang Tatay ko ay andyan na ang kwentong iyan. Kahit tanungin mo ang mga magkakawayan diyan sa mga bundok, ayan din ang ikukwento nila sa inyo.” 

They also have a barrio and its waterfalls called Pantihan, which is pronounced like female’s underwear.




Pantihan Falls in Maragondon, Cavite (Photos courtesy by Lakwatsero Caviteno and Online Pasyal)

Unas also said not all of their mountains have sexual undertones. Since the town’s primary product is kawayan or bamboo, Mt. Kaykawayan also sounds closer to nature.



Bonifacio Shrine in Mt. Nagpatong, Maragondon Cavite (Photos courtesy by Lakwatsero Caviteno)



The tourism coordinator also added that Mt. Buntis and Mt. Nagpatong are the town’s historical trails. These trails will give you the glimpse of history as they are the surviving witnesses of Andres Bonifacio and his brother Procopio’s final hours. A shrine marks the spot where the most famous leader of the Philippine Revolution was executed on May 10, 1897. 

The old folks also believed that the Katipuneros camped out in the woods with their families to hide during the Spanish revolution.

As of now, Maragondon has more than 40 peaks and there are still more they haven’t explored. The local government estimated that there are more than 60 mountains in the town and they are inviting hikers to discover more of them.